First Child Off To College
March 3, 2021 Adrienne Brown 0 Comments
Sending your first child off to college is difficult,
but try releasing two.
I had to release two of my sons at the same time.
It was so incredibly exhilarating because of our homeschooling accomplishments,
yet it was extremely scary to let them both go.
At the same time!!!!
Yes, we had two sons get accepted into military academies the same year.
So we had to help them pack, and then drive each son to his destination.
It was the hardest time in my life as their mother.
My husband and our other children thought that I would fall apart, but thankfully I did not.
These events were so unbelievable to us that they carried me through the whole process.
Yet, I managed to make it through because I kept reminding myself of their incredible accomplishments.
Helping you send your first child off to college
It’s my reason for writing this for you. I know letting go and sending off that one whom you have been responsible for all of their life feels frightening.
It really is a kind of heart hurt that you literally feel.
Maybe that’s why the proverbial saying “cut the apron strings” is used when mom has to let go.
When no one else can see you, you express that cutting in tears. I soaked many pillows, crying because of that severed apron string.
Mama, it is normal to long for your baby. It almost feels like a mourning time, but it’s not.
We must remember our reasons.
Surviving seeing your first child off to college
1. Think about your why! Yes, ask yourself, Why did I encourage my son or daughter to seek higher education?
Your remembering the why will help you to pull yourself together.
2. Remember as Moms & Dads we want our children to reach their higher goals. We want to see them succeed in life. We want them to be the best versions of themselves.
3. Remember after you have celebrated, grieved, celebrated some more, and maybe grieved a little more, don’t forget you must focus on your why. This makes survival doable.
Remember all of your hard work
Earlier, I said that I didn’t fall apart. Even though deep down inside my spirit, felt broken or even shattered.
Not shattered in a horrific kind of way, I just felt as if I was losing something.
Well, I actually was, I was losing the position of mothering my 4 sons.
Because a few years later we saw our other two sons leave home heading for college.
Even so, neither of the 4 times, did either of them see me fall apart.
And it was not because I was holding the pain in or anything like that.
No, I just chose to do the following 3 things as their mom:
- Celebrated the reasons why I was there in the first place.
- Constantly encouraged and helped them through their transitions.
- Reminded them of where they came from, and whose they were.
These consistent and persistent affirmations equipped me and them with emotional power.
Your child needs you to prepare them emotionally for this monumental change.
Each college trip marked the first time that either son would leave to face a challenge that was all his own. Thankfully, we had also drilled into them, beliefs that promoted emotional stability:
- We told them to stand up for themselves, yet to treat others with respect.
- That this was their future and that they had to work hard toward their own goals.
- We told them to work hard as if they actually wanted to succeed.
- We reminded them to be thankful and grateful for what they had.
- And above all else, we encouraged them to remember the God that had brought them to this point.
Now Mom, here are a few things for you to do for yourself:
- After you have come to a more relaxed state of mind, begin to change things up in your home. Starting with the empty room. I found that there was much junk left behind that needed purging.
- Start an activity that you have always wanted to do; Gym, Belly dancing, or bowling.
- Take a class to learn something new.
- Host parties with your other friends who just released kids to college
- Travel somewhere you always wanted to go.
- Write a book, there are young mothers out there who can benefit from your experiences.
Mom, the fact that your young one has gone off to college is not the end of the story. Believe me, they will come calling the first time they’re faced with a challenge.
So get ready to point them in a direction where they can help themselves.
Your mothering days are not quite over, they’re just at another level.
Which is how it should be, if you did your job right mama!