- Never assume that the single mom is being mean: A good mom, wants to give her child the world, and she will do whatever she can to provide that thing. Yet, a good mom also knows when to say no to her child. She knows what is best for that child at that present time.
- Never judge her parenting skills based on her singleness: In a matter of seconds, that cashier had sized me up, checked me out, and passed judgment. Why else would she have felt so confident to give information to my son, when I was so obviously withholding it from him?

Helping the Single Mom
September 27, 2019 Adrienne Brown 2 Comments
Let me tell you what you should never do to a single mom
- Never comment on the back end of a single moms conversation with her child: Your advice may be the best thing since God created the universe, but you don’t know her from Eve. So approach her with caution, and ask if she needs help. Instead of sizing her up from snippets of conversation that you might overhear.
I felt that she had already decided that I was wrong or too harsh, so she took it upon herself to give my child information that I had clearly denied him. This part is the most disheartening for me because I was good to my children.
I cared for them wholeheartedly and did not neglect them at all. Yet I felt that she had judged me as neglectful all to fast.
- Never assume you know all that a single mom has endured: This is the real problem here. I do think that many people look at single parents and make all sorts of wild accusations.
I walked into that store with guilt and shame heavy on my shoulders. I already felt the piercing eyes of your scornful comments. Therefore, as a single mom, I already had pre-formulated answers to your unnecessary probing.
Believe me, I hated being a single mom, and never did I think that I would be one. So before you offer your assistance, be sensitive, not judgmental.
How to help her be an even better single mom
It has been quite some time since that incident, but the memories of that day still bring up serious heartfelt sadness. I can remember just wanting to cry, scream, swoop my two sons up and running for shelter into my home. I feared judgement, misunderstanding and insensitivity.
If I could teach every person in the world, who encounters a single mom in the grocery line, how to help her. This is what I would tell them:
If you would like to read more about my early journey as a single mom and how things changed for me here is a link to my book!
Kate Murray
October 1, 2019 - 5:00 pm
These are important suggestions for any person to consider before interrupting a mom’s teachable moment…even the moms who are not single!
Adrienne Brown
October 5, 2019 - 7:03 am
That’s my point Kate, we must be careful not to diminish a moms authority. Particularly right in front of her children!Thanks for your input!